Day 2 of AJC Coaching Career School 2022
Something big has shifted in me this time and this is what’s coming up for me…
I want to tell you a story that I’ve never told before it all its rawness and truth.
Let’s rewind to May 2019.
I was struggling.
I hated myself.
I felt helpless.
I was broken.
I didn’t know how to fix myself.
Something was wrong with me.
I was desperately unhappy.
I was mentally sick.
I couldn’t see a way out.
I felt the lowest I’ve ever felt.
I wasn’t me anymore.
It was the day of my first counselling session and the day that my husband proposed to me.
He turned up at my house and surprised me right after a painful counselling session.
In the car on the way to the first surprise of the day, he played me a song – Halo by Beyoncé Before he played it, he said:
‘Listen to this song like you are singing it to yourself. It’s a love song from you, to you.’
In that moment, as the song unfolded, I heard every lyric about me.
I cried uncontrollably. I wept. I was so overwhelming overcome with emotion.
And I realised something.
I wasn’t crying because I was broken. I was crying because I deeply saw in that moment, even if only for a split second, that the real Me was alive and whole.
The lyrics pierced through the thoughts I had that were telling me ‘I am broken’ and ‘something bad is wrong with me’ and spoke directly to my Soul.
My Soul was moved by it.
I realised that the Soul can’t be broken, just like Light can’t be broken. It is refracted and reflected, but NEVER broken.
For that split second, I saw my wholeness and the emotion poured out.
I decided that I had the ability to heal myself without medication and I have done exactly that.
I have been channeling this emotion into devotion of myself ever since. It is an ongoing journey from emotion into devotion.
And that brings me to today.
In this class, we spoke about self-forgiveness and I remembered that I used to carry around a shit tonne of self-judgement.
But now I am seeing that self-forgiveness is self-love.
I realise that continuous forgiveness of the judgements I create of myself, is the path to loving me.
Continuous forgiveness.
Continuous.
I committed to being audaciously me.
Being AUDACIOUS is boldly forgiving myself for the judgements new and old, that I hold on myself.
Falling deeply in love with myself is AUDACIOUS.
Where are you in non-forgiveness of yourself?
Love
Rajni 💛🦄🌈
TBLCWFM
TLC TTT
P.S. if this has spoken to you, I invite you to listen to Halo and hear everyone lyric about you, to you.
https://youtu.be/bnVUHWCynig
P.P.S. here’s a photo of me and Amit on the day he proposed, with a random lady who celebrated with us 🖤 it was also the day I realised I am whole and complete
